Thank you for understanding.
This week we were traveling to Fiji, and I lost my grandpa June 11.
Please remember my family in your prayers during this time.
Arrangements have been posted to my Facebook.
Even though there is not a podcast this week I wanted to take a little time to explain what it is like when you are a missionary, or someone who is out of the country and can't make it back during times of death.
In August of 2019 I lost my grandma while I was in PNG, and now her husband my grandpa has passed away June of 2022.
When you are in the field, and can't be there when they pass away, go to the funeral, or see them that final time is very difficult.
I realize that it is hard on everyone, but when you can't see them, or be with them that one last time it changes things.
You never really get closure.
It is so unreal.
Even with my grandma who I lost in 2019 it still doesn't seem real.
You know that person is gone forever, and you feel the same emptiness, but it isn't the same as those you are able to be there for.
No visitation, No funeral, No saying goodbye... It is awful.
With my grandpa it is different though.
We talked occasionally on the phone, but couldn't really talk much, because when I would call from PNG it was very hard on him.
Every time I would call he would cry, and then he'd feel bad and apologize, but I would still try to call at least once a month.
We had a lot of great talks, and I was able to get some closure the last time we talked while he was in the hospital.
With family things it is also difficult.
My family is back in the US dealing with everything, and has been great with keeping me in the loop with phone calls, and video chats, but it makes you feel pretty helpless when it comes to the physical labor.
You feel like more of a burden than a help, because we won't be back in the states until September, and by the time we arrive back in the US all the work will be finished.
Just a flood of emotions that you have to muddle through on top of the grieving.
I just wanted to shine a little light, there is a lot more, but this is the cliffs notes version to help you peek into some of the feelings that you have.
If nothing else it helps me try to explain it to some degree.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support, and your prayers for all my family during this time.